It’s a pleasure to have this column to reach you weekly. I am a relationship coach and counsellor. Many who have had the opportunity of being other my message or ministration have results, which include purposeful living and joyful relationship.
Today we’ll be looking at Waiting or Wasting.
When I stepped into God’s call to minister to mature singles in 2009, I wonder how I would transition from working with young people to working with mature singles. These special groups were different in many aspects. After prayerfully considering both groups, I realised that God was not calling me to choose but to expand my scope in working with those on the life-bridge or crossroad called waiting.
During an interview in 2012, I was asked, “Why have you chosen to combine the mentoring of young people with the counselling of mature singles?” I answered thus:
I was led to start both by God and honestly I am only just seeing the link. Teenagers and young adults are at a crossroad in their lives where they need guidance and mentoring. Mature singles are also at a crossroad where they feel the need for family life. Being able to connect the teens to mature singles that have time to devote to them creates a very purposeful symbiotic relationship. The added advantage is that the relationship serves to impact the young person and positively affects the esteem of the mature single whose need for family life is met by the commitment towards the young person.
Waiting in God’s waiting room, as I have assured many over and over again, is not a punishment but a phase to prepare you and test your capability and capacity for the blessing ahead. Are you waiting or wasting?
Adeleke Aladekoba, a mentee of mine, waited for many years to get into higher institution. When my God who is never late arrived with his admission package, it was to Covenant University with a scholarship. I waited 10 years after my bachelor’s degree to receive a master’s degree but one of the ingredients (Willows Magazine) that delivered my admission and degree to me happened 7 years into my wait. I know a widow with three children who is today married to a single man. I also know an unmarried mother of two who insisted she wanted a single man and God sent one her way in His time. My Mother, Deaconess Ibiyemi Oluremi Famuyiwa, attended the wedding of her principal’s daughter in 2012. The bride was 52 years, never been married. On October 13, 2010 we heard of the wedding of Esther Folashade Aduke Blaize to William Folorunso Kumuyi of Deeper Christian Life Ministry. What many may not know is that at 65, this was her first marriage. She was one of the founding members of the church.
No matter the bus stop you believe you are stranded at, stay out of the elements – sun, rain or wind, then walk tall to impact lives. Carol Akpala, a former junior colleague of mine shared an inspiring story of how after waiting for a while at the bus stop she discovered a little blind boy who has been waiting longer just to be helped to cross the street. Her wait was a solution to the boy’s wait. While you are waiting be sensitive to your environment and do whatever positive things your hands find to do. When your celebration bus arrives, what matters would be how you spent – wisely or foolishly, your waiting period. Remember the story of the maidens and the lamps in Matthew 25? God always arrives but will you be there, will you be ready?
”If only I am educated”, now you are a graduate; “If only I am employed”, now you have a job; “If only I have a car”, now you have a ride; “If only I have a place to call home”, now you own an apartment, “If only there is light…” Instead of waiting for NEPA, get off the whining wagon and grab a torch to see how blessed you are that you can read, earn, own and see. The word contentment means consciously accepting, appreciating, enjoying and making the best use of the allocation in your location and finding peace in the knowledge that God knows your frame and would increase your supply in due season ~ 1 Timothy 6:6.
There are two different ways to wait: ACTIVE and PASSIVE. We’ll continue next week by God’s grace. Till then feel free to send me your relationship questions via [email protected]. Together we can make your marital journey a joyful one. @DCMatureSingles