DIARY OF A WIDOW

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By Adenike Ladipo Lagos, Nigeria.

Life indeed is amazing; it’s a decider sometimes of what we are and who we will become.

My story is that of a woman who went to bed, having had a promising conversation with her husband. Less than nine hours later, was jolted by the news of his death.

I still remember vividly when I received the news of my husband’s demise, it felt like I was in a bad dream, a nightmare. I was pleading to come out from, then waking up to reality, I was in complete shock, many thoughts were going through my mind. “so am now alone”? “who do I turn to”? and “where do I go from here”? It was a very scary experience, and it is natural that you would be frightened by the huge weight of reality staring at you right in the face. It takes the inner strength and strong will to pull yourself together and raise your head a little high and decide to face and deal with the situation, your first consideration are the children, they need your strength, you just have to be strong for them inspite of it all.

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I began the journey into widowhood, though not by choice, yet I found myself here, who would have wished for this. It took a while, but I was able to tell myself I need to make a difference however the circumstances.

Note, there are no standard forms or rules or even principles on how to act or behave as a widow. You learn how to walk the path sometimes you stumble, many a times you fall, if not careful, you fall flat on your face. Your ability to rise and learn from the cause is what makes the difference in your life. I can speak on this matter, for I learnt, not many who come around to mourn with you are friends and confidants. Unconsciously, you hand over the reign of your life to them and before you realize yourself, you are already dancing to their whims and caprices and any attempt to act otherwise, you are seen as becoming rebellious to the norm.

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I will share with you my journey, my mistakes, my weakness, my resolve, my strength, how I stumbled and found the will to take another chance because I believe!

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